Rob Lee's MaXx Exposure

 

Posted: 3 Oct 2008

 

Rob Lee's remarkable, at times painful and ulitmately emotional farewell to his reacing persona - a very fine read! Enjoy!

 

With the press release live regarding my new "Seven Deadly Spins" project (Read about it here), and having spent the whole week on holiday working to get the wheels well and truly moving towards my new goals, it felt slightly surreal to be sitting on the grass at the entrance to Queen Elizabeth Country Park waiting for a coach to take me to the start of the MaXx Exposure.

The man himself basks in the sushine

Such a great feeling though, sitting in the sun, anticipation of the ride ahead tangible amongst everyone gathered. Lots of questions to field regarding my new direction, but also regarding my immediate intentions for the night that lay ahead. I wasn't expecting any more from myself than a good steady ride; some kind of respectable position if all went to plan. The old nutshell of "it isn't a race, it's a challenge ride" cropped up and we all threw our wood on the fire and laughed in unison. Anyone who thinks you can allow more than rider to enter an event and expect them to all cruise home without battle commencing just simply hasn't been paying attention in life have they? Ever? Laws, rules, whatever, simple fact of life = humans are competitive.

So with the sun setting over Eastbourne, and the sea gradually blending to one with the sky, we pointed our bars back to the West and prepared not to race each other the 80 or so miles back across the South Downs Way! For the first time since I picked up a bike 15 years ago and started racing I became aware that others were watching me. It was very obvious that plenty were expecting something more from me than my own anticipated performance. As we left the start the pace was amazingly subdued, almost as if no one, myself included, dare make a move that would unleash a crazy dose of high speed chaos into the approaching envelope of darkness.

As we took on the first couple of short climbs it was immediately apparent that there were three very strong riders with their sights set on being the first guy back to QECP. All of them were stronger than me, that I was certain, but strength and fitness are only two tools from the box and besides the SDW has her own way of rewarding or punishing those who dare to venture across her contours. So into the first real descent and the first twist was unleashed as the rider I felt was the strongest among us took a puncture and was left to repair as we darted away from his fate. I fully expected to see him again but was to later discover he'd suffered no less than 5 punctures before making it to the finish! Luck has this way sometimes, so cruel.

As each mile passed their were less of us, until eventually just myself and Charlie (Eustace) were left in each others company. The two of us took it in turns to set the pace, open and close the gates, and give each other a little punishment along the way. The miles passed, smells and views, and blissful motion as the world seemed to roll below my wheels like a delightful dream as animals dart for cover...

Rabbit... rabbit... rabbit... BADGER!?

The whole world skids, slides, glides and in a second I'm all but consumed by the sickly smashing around my skull and a searing wave like spikes thrusting through my entire body! It spins, and aches and all my cells scream at me like a million alarms ringing in my ears. Black, dark, stars, dizzy. Have no doubt, you absolutely do not want a badger to come between your front wheel and the trail!

Charlie standing over me, looking down: "are you ok?"
Me "man that hurts? thank you for stopping"
Charlie - "no worries Rob, we're all in it together"

As I come to my feet the world spins a little then settles. That hurt, that hurt A LOT, but at least I'm not properly broken and so tell Charlie to get on with his ride while I continue onto the first checkpoint. He's reluctant, I can tell, Charlie's true colours come through, a true gent and I am humbled. He waits for me at the next gate, looks me in the face and we both realise that I will be OK and we head always onwards, Charlie with his mission, me with the need to just chill and get to checkpoint 1 in one piece, and with that he is gone.

Approaching checkpoint 1 I realise that I'm not stopping. I don't know why, don't question it, or the logic, I just know that I'll not be pulling out just yet. Concerned faces and a few questions and I'm back out into the darkness with my music playing and a feeling of pure indulgence smoothing out the pain. Charlie comes back into view! Gradually the gap shortens, then lengthens, then shortens so suddenly that I know something is wrong. His bike is up-side-down and as I pass and hear confirmation that he has everything he needs to fix it I'm torn between stopping anyway or cracking on. I decide that he'd not want to beat me back because I waited for a puncture; he's a real good guy but he'd still love to kick my arse!

For miles and miles I lead in utter disbelief whilst knowing, almost with a feeling of relief, that someone is gaining on me. At the halfway check I'm still first man but know I'll not hold the chasing rider at bay. He's either stronger or risking all to catch me, and catch me he will, but which rider is he? His name is Rob (good name for an endurance athlete;-) and I've never met him before. We ride side-by-side for a few miles, enjoying the night, chatting away like we have not a single care in the world. The dude really, really doesn't realise how good he is but should have a damn fine idea now. He's absolutely stoked to be at the head of affairs but completely deserves to be there and dances away into the night as I marvel at the ease with which he does so.

But no panic, do I hear anyone singing? No, so therefore it's not over is it? I continue onwards at my own pace, fueling the engine, fighting the pain, wrestling the cramp and keeping the glow of his lights just within reach. Because when he punctures, and how the hell did I know that would befall him? I'll be back in the lead and on my way to checkpoint 4 at the Cocking road crossing!

For some weird, spooky reason my friend Scott is at checkpoint 4. How does he do that? When Scott turns up out of the blue only one thing ever happens. I'm starting to wonder if he even exists of if he's some sort of "god of endurance" who pops out now and then and bestows his powers to me on loan for a bit! Rob Lee "bike racer" left Eastbourne six hours ago and now I'm gonna leave him all over this trail for good. I've never ridden a bike faster than I did from Cocking to the entrance of QECP. For the first time ever I threw every single ounce of caution to the wind and revved the engine to the max. It roared. I stamped my bike to the top of the last climb and lifted it to the sky and screamed, absolutely released, free, unleashed, the overwhelming feeling of everything primal that still exists deep within us that all the teachings and trappings of our society and culture deny and protect us from.

AMAZING.

I wasn't at the finish line but realised without any doubt that I'd found MY finish. I lay my bike on the floor, took off my helmet, looked up into the beautiful, awesome, clear as my mind, night sky, breathed in the deepest most gorgeously wholesome breath and said goodbye to the racer that was. Did I find the thing I've been looking for as soon as I stopped looking for it? Maybe I did, maybe I'm crazy, or maybe I'm just a little bit too honest? And with that I picked up my bike, freewheeled down the last hill, popped a wheelie as I crested the last rise and then cruised into camp as a very happy man who really loves riding his bike.

Roll on 2009, next stop: Adventure!

Rob Lee
www.ironhorse-extreme.com
http://sevendeadlyspins.blogspot.com/